When I was in high school, I was dreaming of that ‘perfect’ romance, the one people wrote songs and poetry about. The romance that would always have a happy ending, of course not refusing the guilty pleasure of a beautiful heartbreak that would culminate in ugly sobbing on the floor while the boy would call about a hundred times, apologizing for whatever ‘huge’ mistake he’s done. Sound familiar? That’s because this scenario is the theme of most hit songs. By the way, huge shout-out to Taylor Swift, the one who’s always been there for us when we turned into a crying mess. You go girl.
As I got older and had my fair share of heartbreak and ‘I want you back’ texts, I’ve learned a few things.
First of all, the dangerous, toxic relationships may seem exciting and make you feel like you live in a movie, but you would probably find yourself heartbroken and alone, while he thinks it’s no big deal you haven’t spoken more than a few words in three days. Stop waiting for that text, leave him behind, even if it hurts. You will move on and realize it was the best decision you could have made. If you’re looking for real, forever love, that’s not it. It’s only your attachment that’s not allowing you to pick what’s best for yourself.
Second of all, in my experience, true love shouldn’t make you feel anxious. True love means trust, so you shouldn’t feel the need to control everything the other person does. You should be able to fall asleep at night without wondering whether or not they’re sleeping alone. True love offers you peace of mind, not anxiety. True love doesn’t make you question values like sincerity, loyalty, integrity.
Also, you should not feel unloved. At any times. Even when you’re in a fight. True love always makes an effort. If they love you, they would drive the whole night just to see you for five minutes, and would never make you feel guilty for it.
True love is natural. You don’t have to put up an act, you don’t have to spend an hour applying makeup just so you hear a compliment. True love is more than outer beauty.
I hope you find true love, too. I hope you never settle and never give up on love. The most horrendous storms make the most beautiful rainbow cross the sky. It did for me. And I’m a strong believer that you shouldn’t hold on to something if you’re the only one who’s putting up an effort. I’m a strong believer that walking through storms wipes you clean. If you’ve got all the reasons to let go, do it. You aren’t giving up, you’re only making space for the good kind of love to come into your life, and the good kind of love lasts forever.