This year, I want my spring cleaning to have an effect on every aspect of my life. So one of the things that I want to change are the social habits that have a negative impact on my well-being.
Thus, I’ve noticed I am sometimes talking too much. But there are also times when I don’t talk at all. I tend to overshare. But I also keep too many things to myself. I didn’t quite succeed in finding the perfect balance in which I do or say, and I always beat myself over it and I wonder “Why can’t I be different?”. The answer is, in this kind of situation, you can’t be what you want yourself to be if you don’t change the way you think, if you don’t try to do things differently, if you don’t do different things.
Changing the way you react to certain situations or people is a long, difficult journey, as you already have your own habits, your own thoughts and your own convictions, which you can’t throw away easily. Your experience has created patterns that you unconsciously follow, patterns that are hard to break.
I found out that the best way I can become aware of the patterns my brain created is to ask myself why. Most of these causes are the insecurities I still have regarding my social life. There are only a few people that I feel comfortable to sit with in silence, so I sometimes feel voids by saying things that I shouldn’t. If I feel that someone’s angry with me, I tend to find silly reasons to get their attention, just to test the waters. The thing is, I shouldn’t do it. Nevertheless, by identifying the things I shouldn’t do, I get to the core of the issue, and I try to fix it.
I understood that:
- You shouldn’t have to beg for someone’s attention.
- If someone’s ignoring you with no apparent reason, leave them be.
- You shouldn’t depend on anyone.
- It’s okay to be alone.
- You don’t need everybody to like you.
- The ultimate goal is to be kind to everyone.